Went church visiting since it's Maundy Thursday. went to risen christ for mass then headed to our lady of lourdes, then st. joseph's, st. peter and paul, and last stop cathedral of the good shepherd. took bus only to lourdes and walked to all the rest of the churches 'cause it's all in the same area. i think it's the hottest and sweatiest church visiting year 'cause walking plus no air-con in the churches. lol. but had fun with sam fern, deb, her mom and her cousin lesley (or leslie?), greg and rene. was really glad rene came along 'cause it's been some time since i saw and talked to her and need to bring her to church. she almost didn't wanna go but i half persuaded and half nagged her into going. :) i'm a bad godma.. haven't been watching over her spiritual side, though i know that she's been missing mass. sigh. i never realised being a godma entails so much responsibility, maybe 'cause my own godma didn't set a good example? but i understand godma's got her own family problems so i'm not complaining. sometimes i do wonder if i did the right thing agreeing to be rene's godma for her confirmation. thinking back, i wasn't yet spiritually mature to teach her anything, even now. i even have to watch myself. how to take care of others when i can't even take care of myself? surprised that i even have time to self-reflect. nowadays i myself don't even know what i'm really busy with.

i think i'm just stuck to materiality such that i'm losing sight of God. but i think i grew a bit closer to Him today. during the transfer of the body of christ, when fr. john sim walked past with the body of christ, i felt a breeze which gave a tingling sensation and had this sudden urge to pour my tears out. the emotion just hit me and it was so strong. i managed to hold back the tears but the emotion rocked me. was it the Holy Spirit? i think it was. i think it was God telling me to put all my anger and frustration and sadness down, let it out, let it go. and the universal prayer also prayed for angry children and disappointed parents to reconcile and remember their good times and their love for each other. it was definitely God's message for me. i think i had an unexpressed reconciliation with my mom today, at that point in time. thank you Holy Spirit.

i prayed for my brother and i hope he really wakes up. he's like in a warped world of his own and of course he didn't go church at all today, or the previous few weeks. what he needs is a miracle, God's wake-up call. supposed to be old enoough but still can't take control of his own life. eternal slavery to gaming, that's what i call it. my mother's another problem, but let's not go into it. say some more and i'll go crazy.

had a nice green tea frapp at starbucks after visitation and talked until they closed and sort of chased us out by flickering the lights. lol. we weren't the last to leave though. first time i took night rider home. haha. so suah ku. a bit scared though 'cause it's so late and my place there got ah nehs and china workers. was damn aware of my surroundings the entire (brisk)walk home. blah. maybe i'm paranoid.

damn tired but still watched the latest episode of ANTM cycle 10 on youtube. i'm addicted man.

now! to sleep and Good Friday service tomorrow, or later in the day, to be precise.